Q & A: Michigan Caregiver Discuss the Rewards and Challenges of Tending for Others

By GRACE LEE, Solutions News Bureau

Twenty-four-year-old Octasia Nolasco spends most of her days working as a caregiver in metro Detroit. After graduating high school, she developed a passion for helping people, specifically those who are unable to fend for themselves. Although she focuses on young children, she has experience with elderly patients as well. She believes that caregivers are the helping hand every community needs, especially since the role hits so close to home for her.

Q: Please describe your role as a caregiver, and what it involves on a day-to-day basis.

A: I take care of two children, the ages of 2 and 7. This can include anything from feeding them, playing games, preparing meals, keeping them on track with homework, and of course keeping them safe.

Q: Why is caregiving important to you?

A: My family needed a caregiver to tend to my grandfather, seeing how much relief my mom had because of this help made me want to go into this profession. I like that I take the stress/burden off of my employers.

Q: What is a specific issue, or major challenge, you face in your role?

A: I find discipline my biggest challenge. Knowing what I can and cannot do to discipline the children based on the parents’ instructions. I follow their instructions, but it doesn’t always work. For instance, the 7-year-old is only allowed a certain amount of TV time, so when that time is finished and the kid starts misbehaving I try to use the “gentle parenting” the parents have instructed me to use. This doesn’t always work.

Q: When you encounter this challenge, who do you turn to for help?

A: The parents, when they arrive home, I give them a synopsis of the day and ask them for guidance on how to handle this situation in the future as the gentle parenting was unsuccessful

Q: What kind of help do they provide?

A: The parents offer me verbal guidance on how to calm their child down. They have also sent me some links to pediatric websites on gentle parenting. They have also had conversations with their child as this is an ongoing issue.

Q: What works well for you to motivate the kids?

A: I have found that once the child has felt the weight of their discipline I will allow them 30 minutes of TV time, cook them one of their favorite meals, or motivate them with the implication there will be no bedtime story if they keep this up. It’s important to remember that these are kids and while some days might be harder than others, we will work through these issues together. I treat these kids like they’re family.

Q:  a. What things reduce the effectiveness of this kind of help?

A: It is quite difficult to use gentle parenting when the child is having these tantrums. Although I can use that once the child has calmed down, in the heat of the moment it doesn’t work. While the young child is crying and having a fit, it’s difficult to talk to him because he can’t hear me over his screaming. So, I wait him out, until it becomes calm. Then we can use the gentle parenting the parents guide me to use, this allows us to talk about our big emotions.

Q: b. What would it take to overcome those limitations?

A: Consistency. The parents and I have to make sure we are using the same techniques.

Q: What do you want people to know about yourself, and caregivers in our community?

A: I believe that most caregivers are empathic, big-hearted, caring people. We truly want to do the best we can at taking care of these people. I aim to be the nanny I would want to hire when I become a mom. Right now I am working with children, but I have worked with the elderly. Working with elderly people can be much more difficult because my expectation going in is that I can have a conversation with them about their difficult behavior since they’re an adult.

However, I have to be mindful that I am there to take care of them. I go in with the loving heart of taking care of a grandparent.